That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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