2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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