I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
