oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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