I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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