I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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