God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
