my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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