You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
