Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
