we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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