I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
