only if we run a train.
done.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
