i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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