shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize