I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
