We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
