Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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