I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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