We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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