My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
