yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
