then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't turn off my feet"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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