:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
