I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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