I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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