You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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