Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
