Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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