Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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