we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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