That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
