shes about as inviting as chlamydia
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
