I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
