My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
