Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
