I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
