So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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