That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
