she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
