No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
