I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
