I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
