Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
