let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize