What a fucking waste of an outfit
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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