he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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