My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
