and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
