This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
