We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
