Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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