Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
