I'm jealous of your bromance
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
