The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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