I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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