I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
