Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
