I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
