xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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