ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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